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Bedtime Woes

The longest 45 minutes of my day is between 7 and 7:45 in the evening.


Bedtime is technically at 7, just because everyone is tired and cranky by that time (especially me!). Any earlier, and the morning wake up is just ridiculous. As it is, these guys are already up at 5:30 (or earlier) every day - after several nighttime wake-ups. If we move bedtime earlier, wake up also gets earlier. You would think that the same logic could be applied the other way - push bedtime later and have a more decent wake-up time. But no. Because kid logic isn't actually logical at all.


In the last few months though, Finn insists on having an audience to fall asleep. He is like a very cute, tiny dictator, and refuses to take no for an answer. He points to the chair in his room and barks the command: 'MAMA SIT!!' And I, like a well trained dog, obey. As I write this, I'm giggling because he is so freakin' adorable I wanna eat him. But when he's yelling at me to SIT!, I can't help but feel annoyed.


Here's the thing - I love them SOOOO much, but this is the time of day I look forward to during all those not so pleasant moments in the day. Someone is having a fit? It's ok...only 8 hours till 7PM rolls around! Ugh, how is there honey on the door handle...when was the last time anyone ate honey? It's ok,

I tell myself while scrubbing...only 3 hours till bedtime!!


After the tossing and the turning and the occasional 'MAMA SIT!!' (even though I haven't moved), he finally falls asleep and I can sneak out like a criminal. It's been taking almost 45 minutes - that's more than two full rotations of our singing fox bedtime lamp, which assumes most normal children are fast asleep after 20 minutes of tricking water in a forest sound, and automatically shuts off. Hell, I'm mostly asleep after the first 5 minutes! How he lasts so long is beyond me.


Once they are finally both sleeping, it's bliss. We go sit on the couch together, maybe start a movie, sometimes have wine, or a nice espresso. And then...talk about the kids. Our conversation goes like this: How cute are they, though - really! Look at this video I took today of Finn feeding Charlotte! Oh...gotta send that one to my mom!! But seriously, I just wanna cuddle them, look how peacefully they are sleeping, they are SUCH good babies, we tell each other, staring at the monitor.


And then someone moves. High alert!! we sit upright and shut up, like meerkats poking out of a hole in the ground. What was that sound??

Son of a nutcracker!!! Who's up? Why can these kids not just sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time?!?! Oh no, wait...look how good she is. So sweet, she just rolled over. Let's watch that cute video one more time. Gosh, we're so lucky, they are perfect!!


HOLY S#*T!! He's up again, I see him getting out of bed!! You have to be effing kidding me??? 'What's up buddy??' I call up sweetly, 'Go to sleep please!!'

'MAMA, MAMA SIT!!' He's yelling at the top of the stairs, banging on the baby gate, and I'm sure the neighbours can hear him, so he is definitely going to wake Charlie up. The panic sets in and we dive off the couch - NOOO!! 'MAMA DADDY SIT DADDY COME COME SIT DADDY (bang bang bang)!!!'


'Oh, he wants you this time, babe', I say to Stephan. The boss has called on another minion this time...sucker!! And I do my internal happy dance and sit back down to keep looking at pictures of them, while Stephan trudges up the steps.


And then Charlotte starts to howl...


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