Pandemic Exhaustion
So it seems we are all suffering from "pandemic fatigue". But fatigue sounds so delicate...like "I'm slightly fatigued today", says someone who is having a second Starbucks latte, wearing dark sunglasses at the airport because they had to wake up early for a 6AM flight to Miami for a girls weekend.
Speaking personally, I am not fatigued. I am exhausted. Burnt out. I absolutely HATE how this pandemic has changed our lives, and I am holding my breath for it to be over, even though I can't see how that will happen anytime soon.
And I have it really lucky. My daughter was born on March 13th, the day everything pretty much closed up shop here. In Canada, we're super fortunate to have a full year of parental leave, and my husband took his 5 weeks of paternity leave. So I had help with our newborn (thank goodness since I was also recovering from a c-section), and I also didn't have to worry about childcare for our toddler, since I was, and still am, off work. Which is good, since it looks like we may be headed for a second lockdown, mostly due to people who can't seem to follow the rules and just STOP SOCIALISING. But that's a different topic.
Women, specifically mothers, seem to be bearing the brunt of the stress related to this pandemic (there are studies, but I'm speaking anecdotally so don't ask me to quote my sources). I second guess every decision I make now. Is it right to send Finley to daycare a few days a week? I went to Costco twice last week, was that necessary? I should really consolidate grocery trips. I told my parents we can't get together, I'm too worried about passing something on to them, since Stephan works and Finn is in daycare. But now I worry about their mental health too.
None of our extended family has met Charlotte - she must think she has no family which couldn't be further from the truth, we are a large and close group. My in-laws were booked to visit us in May from Germany, but that was cancelled so they haven't even met their granddaughter, or seen Finn in over a year.
And then there's the guilt. Earlier today, my friend told me she missed going to yoga, but then immediately apologized because "there are people who are worse off". But it's not a competition over whose hardship is the heaviest to bear, and we don't need to feel bad for missing seemingly frivolous things. I also miss seeing my friends, and just hanging out or going out to dinner. We know it could be a lot worse. People have lost loved ones, or are struggling to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table for their family. That certainly puts things in perspective, but it doesn't make your stress, or mine, any less valid.
So let's all just cut each other some slack, and be allowed to miss NORMALCY, without feeling guilt-ridden.
Although, if you want to alleviate some guilt, it doesn't hurt to drop off that donation bag of clothes in the back of your closet, or send an e-transfer to a local food bank. Just sayin'...
Stay safe everyone xox
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