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The Booger Battles

Hell hath no fury like a toddler whose nose you are trying to clean.


It's no secret that I am a little obsessed by my kids's noses. There is nothing I hate more than a crusty nose. I'm in there a LOT. But its just so disgusting. Is it too much to ask that they grant me the privilege of fishing their boogers out with my bare fingers, so I can have the pleasure of seeing 4 clean nostrils for 2 minutes a day? I mean honestly, it's not that fun for me either, kids. But the job needs to get done! (ugh, hang on, I see Charlotte blowing a snot bubble...brb)


It's not that Finn is opposed to using tissue, he just wants to do it himself, which is great! He needs to learn of course. But a 2 year old wiping his own nose just results in shmearing mucous all over your own face like peanut butter on toast. It also results in the 'usage' of tissue at a rate of about 19/minute, all of which require an individual flush down the toilet.


Also, who else's toddler develops herculean strength and the undercover skills of an MI6 agent when they see you coming in for a nose wipe? Cold and flu season is going to require the development of some new and creative tactical surprise elements. I will have to get better at hiding my assortment of snot sucking devices (in case you're wondering, the nose frida and hydrasense are the best ones). I will have to learn to distract them while I squirt saline solution up there. Maybe I should invest in some protective equipment to shield me from all the kicking and flailing.


And most important of all, I have to keep reminding myself that even though I may lose some battles, I can still plan on winning the Booger War :)


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