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Unlikely Milestones



Today was Charlie’s first time sitting in a shopping cart at the grocery store. Why is this a big deal? Because she’s a pandemic baby. Let me explain.


I am already mentally preparing to drown out the doom and gloom that will dominate the news on her upcoming birthday - March 13th. Lockdown day. The day everything changed. For us, it will be a day of celebrating our baby girl’s arrival. But I would be lying if I didn’t also say that I will be mourning the first year she should have had - deserved to have.


It shouldn’t be a big deal for a 10 month old to sit in a grocery cart and be out for errands with her mom. But Charlie rarely gets that experience. She doesn’t get to go out, except to drop off and pick up her brother at daycare. There are no errands, play dates, or family get-togethers.


By her age, Finn had been on 2 beach vacations in Florida. He had been to a Christmas market for a weekend in Quebec City. He and I tagged along to Ottawa on one of Stephan’s business trips, just because. He had spend more time with his grandparents from overseas than Charlie has spent with her grandparents from 20 minutes away. Finn's 10 month milestone picture is with a Celebrity cruise ship captain and a bridge officer as we sailed to Bermuda. Charlie’s 10 month picture is on the floor in her bedroom, same as all the previous months. It's a stark contrast.



She doesn’t know all this, and couldn’t care less obviously. She is happy, and healthy and beautiful, and I am so thankful for that, of course. But I’m also overwhelmingly sad that she doesn’t know her family. I’m worried for her social development, not that I can do anything about it - but I worry still. I’m sad that, even though I put her in that cart today, I felt the need to watch them spray it down first, then wipe it clean myself, and also cover the handle with my scarf so she didn’t touch it. I’m sad that every time a friendly stranger made eye contact over our masks and told me how adorable she is, I stiffened up and willed them not to come any closer, while outwardly thanking them.


So yeah, her 10 month milestone is sitting in a grocery cart. The world has changed. And all I can do is hope it changes back soon. That, and give everyone fair warning that once this is over we’re coming for you, and we want hugs!!

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